„Ich bin wahrlich kein fremdenfeindlicher Mensch“, schreibt ein gewisser „Name und Adresse der Redaktion bekannt“ in der „Kronen Zeitung“. Das behaupten sie übrigens alle, um dann immer gleich ein gewichtiges „Aber“ nachzuschieben, in dem die feiste Fratze der Xenophobie besonders hässlich zur Geltung kommt. „Es geht hier nicht um Ausländerfeindlichkeit“, erklärt eine „Wiener Akademikerin (41)“. Worum geht es sonst? Es geht um „die Frage, wo bleibt hier der ohnehin viel zu oft nicht vorhandene Stolz auf Österreich“. Die Akademikerin – Name, Adresse und Universitätsabschluss der „Krone“-Redaktion vermutlich bekannt – fühlt sich in ihrem österreichischen Reststolz verletzt, weil die niederösterreichische Molkerei NÖM seit Kurzem Vollmilchpackungen, die für den türkischen Einzelhandel bestimmt sind, mit türkischen Aufdrucken versieht. Der landläufige Fremdenfeind wird damit, weil er den türkischen Einzelhandel eher selten nutzt, zwar nicht unmittelbar konfrontiert, ABER, sagt er: A!!BER! Es geht ums Prinzip! Was zu viel ist, ist zu viel! Recht muss Recht und Deutsch muss Deutsch bleiben! Wo kommen wir denn da hin? Der landläufige Fremdenfeind neigt in emotionalen Ausnahmesituationen – und gibt es eine emotionalere Ausnahmesituation als „Süt“, das türkische Wort für „Milch“? – zur Phrasenbildung, denn in der Phrase lässt sich jeder Argumentationsnotstand komfortabel entsorgen. „Mit der Milch fängt es an, und was ist das Nächste?“, schreibt „Name und Adresse der Redaktion bekannt“. Türkischsprachige Kebab-Hütten womöglich?
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Aber jetzt mal ehrlich Sven: Die gänsehäutige Kunsterregung der vom grauen Alltag niedergeknüppelten Berufsunzufriedenen lädt doch auch zum Lachen ein, oder?
Wie in allen wirklich guten Komödien verleitet das, was eigentlich zum Weinen ist, zu wirklich kudernder, frohlockender Heiterkeit. Ich kann nicht anders: wenn ich im TS den Erregungsphantasien der betroffenen, sich fürchtenden Anmaßungsbürger lese, beginnt zuerst ein in den Mundwinkeln juckendes Grinsen, und später dann, so unwiederstehlich wie ein Niesreiz, folgt der Lachanfall.
Im Grunde meines Herzen liebe ich ja meine Mitmenschen und ich nehme sie ernst. Aber manchmal sind sie einfach nur lustig.
Liebe Grüße aus dem sechzehnten Hieb,
Peter